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’ Of course she was right, and I had thought of something that would make me feel better, my plan. ‘Jo,’ I said, calm now that my decision was made, ‘I know a way to make me feel better,’ I paused gathering myself, ‘I want to have his baby.’ I expected an explosion from Jo then. I was sure that she would not be happy. ‘Why?’ she said quite calmly. ‘Well,’ I was a bit taken aback by her measured response, ‘I’ll have something of him, you know, afterwards, if anything happens. Something to treasure and love. I never thought about having babies before but lying awake for the last two nights I’ve come to think I would like it, his child and mine, together. What do you think? Do you mind?’ Jo laughed, ‘Lena you really are priceless, that’s why I love you so much,’ and she hugged me really tight. ‘If you want to have a baby of course I don’t mind but what about Mike, what does he say?’ ‘Well, I haven’t actually mentioned it to him yet. You see I only thought of it over the last couple of. ‘Anyway, you are supposed to confess the sins you know you have committed, with a contrite heart, and resolve not to sin again, and then the priest absolves you of your sins. That’s the big problem: I should confess to having made love with you, since we aren’t married yet, but there’s no way I could resolve, truthfully, to not make love with you again before we get married. And even after that, there’s the whole birth control issue. I’m really pretty torn over this right now.’ ‘It all sounds so complicated. Does your church require that a Catholic priest officiate when we get married?’ ‘No, but I’m supposed to get a dispensation from my parish priest if we’re going to be married by a Protestant minister.’ ‘I don’t know,’ Jen said, ‘about all of this stuff. I just know that making love with you is so wonderful that it just can’t be wrong.’ Then she kissed me, and kissed me again, and kissed me again. ‘I mean, I’ve been a good Christian girl for as far back as I can remember, and I.
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